Friday, September 5, 2014

KUBEMENDA MTOTO: HAKUNA UKWELI WOWOTE ULE JUU YA SUALA HILI BALI USAFI NDIYO UNAHITAJIKA WAKATI WA KULEA MTOTO

KUNA hili suala linaloitwa 'kubemenda' mtoto, watu wanadai kuwa sperms huwa zinaleta madhara kwenye maziwa ya mama na kumdhoofisha mtoto kiafya na wengine wanasema ukimshika mtoto baada ya sex pia ina madhara.

kiukweli suala la Kubemenda ni imani potofu (myth) na hakuna uhusiano wa sperms na maziwa ya mama katika kudhoofisha afya ya mtoto; iwe kwa kushirikiana tendo la ndoa au kumshika mtoto baada ya sex.

Je, nini maana ya kubemenda mtoto?
Kwanza hii imani potofu inaeleza kwamba kubemenda mtoto ni pale wanandoa wanapojihusisha na tendo la ndoa baada ya mtoto Kuzaliwa (pale mke anapokuwa tayari kiafya kwa tendo la ndoa baada ya kujifungua) kwa maana kwamba sperms huharibu maziwa ambayo mtoto ananyonya, si kweli hakuna uhusiano wowote kati ya maziwa ya mama na sperms katika kuathiri afya ya mtoto. Pili kubemenda mtoto ni kitendo cha wanandoa kujihusisha na tendo la ndoa na mke kushika mimba miezi mwili tu au mitatu tu baada ya kujifungua na kupelekea kuzaa mtoto mwingine baada ya mwaka na matokeo yake mtoto aliyetangulia Kuzaliwa huwa dhaifu kiafya (huchelewa kutembea) na huitwa ni mtoto ambaye amebemendwa, kitu ambacho ni imani potofu kwani kuna wanandoa wengi tu wamezaa watoto waliopishana mwaka na wote wana afya njema kabisa.

Tatu kubemenda ni kitendo cha mwanandoa mmoja kutoka nje ya ndoa (sex) na akirudi ndani huendelea na tendo la ndoa na matokeo yake mtoto wa ndani ya ndoa huwa dhaifu, pia ni imani potofu hakuna kitu kama hicho.

Jambo la msingi ni kufuata ushauri wa kitaalamu ambao ni wiki sita baada ya kujifungua.

Je, kuna ukweli wowote kuhusiana na hii imani potofu
Iwe wanandoa kujihusisha na tendo la ndoa baada ya mtoto Kuzaliwa au kuzaa mwingine baada ya mwaka au hata kutoka nje hakuna uhusiano na mtoto aliyezaliwa kama suala la usafi na lishe bora litazingatiwa kwa mtoto anayehusika.

Je, kulikoni mababu zetu wakaweka imani kama hiyo kwa wanandoa? Kama zilivyo imani zingine potofu kama vile mwanamke mjamzito kutokula mayai mababu zetu walikuwa na somo ndani yake, inawezekana walitaka kuhakikisha wanandoa wanashiriki vizuri katika kulea mtoto kwa pamoja bila kupendekeza tabia za uchafu na kujirusha nje na ndani ya ndoa bila utaratibu. Pia labda mababu zetu walihofia kitendo cha mwanamke kutoa maziwa (chuluzika) wakati wa tendo la ndoa hasa anapofika kileleni (tangu akifungue hadi miezi 8 hivi) na wakawa wanahofia kinaweza kuathiri kiwango cha chakula cha mtoto hivyo ili kuzuia ni kutunga imani (potofu) kwamba mtoto ataathirika kwa mke na mume kushiriki tendo la ndoa.

Je, ili mtoto asionekane amebemendwa wanandoa wanahitaji kufanya kitu gani?

Ni vizuri kufahamu kwamba hakuna uhusiano wa sperms kuharibu maziwa ya mama wakati wa kumnyonyesha mtoto hivyo wanandoa kushiriki tendo la ndoa halina uhusiano wowote na mtoto kuwa na afya mbaya kiasi cha kuchelewa kutembea.

Mtoto anahitaji watoto chakula bora chenye viini-lishe vyote vinavyohitajika ili kukua vizuri pia mama anahitaji kujiweka mazingira safi (kuwa msafi) wakati ananyonyesha, ahakikishe anasafisha chuchu zake na mikono yake au kuzingatia usafi kimwili kabla ya kumnyonyesha mtoto iwe baada ya sex au muda wowote. Ni jukumu la baba na mama wa mtoto kuhakikisha wanatumia muda wao kuhakikisha mtoto anapata lishe bora na mahitaji yote ya msingi ya mtoto ili kukua na kuwa na afya njema na si kujinyima kujihusisha na tendo la ndoa wakihofia mtoto kuonekana amebemendwa.

Pia suala la usafi wa mazingira ya mtoto anapoishi (vyombo vya kutumia kwa chakula cha mtoto, usafi wa mwili wa mtoto na mama na baba pia) ni muhimu sana kwani baada ya tendo la ndoa ni muhimu kwa mume na mke kuhakikisha wanakuwa safi tena bila kujihusisha na kumnyonyesha mtoto huku hawajanawa au kuoga.


MUHIMU
Suala la kubemenda (binafsi naweza kuita ni utapiamlo au kwashakoo kingereza- Kwashiorkor) huzungumzwa sana na jamii za “mtanzania wa kawaida” huwezi kusikia katika nchi zilizoendelea na watu ambao wameenda shule na wanafuata misingi ya afya na uzazi katika kulea watoto wao na pia mke na mume kuwa karibu kimapenzi.

Dhana hii hauwezi kuisikia katika nchi zilizoendelea ndiyo maana nasema kuwa hii ni dhana potofu tuu!!!!

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Things Every Woman Does That Destroy A Relationship

Women are not the only ones who can destroys a relationship, but there are a few things that a lot of women do that send men running for the hills. In a every successful relationship, both parties can talk about what is bothering them or common problems that can be avoided.
If you’re starting feel a rift between you and your guy, you can easily bring him back into the fold by making a few changes to yourself and the way that you handle issues when they come up.
Here are 5 things that women do to ruin a relationship.

1. Too Much Nagging.
Nagging can be one of the most annoying things to a man.
Women that nag instantly get eye rolls from their spouses. It doesn’t matter if it’s over the trash, dirty dishes or laundry, nagging your guy to do something over and over again is going to get on his nerves.
Keep in mind that an overbearing mother during childhood can affect a man well into the rest of his life. If you nag and he has had this in his past, he could find it so annoying that he leaves you. If he’s doing something that really bothers you, be a mature adult and talk to him about it. Let him know what he’s doing and how much it bothers you. Once he knows that it’s a problem, he will change his ways.

2. Insisting On Marriage Very Early.
Marriage is one of those things that every woman wants.
There isn’t a girl on this earth that doesn’t want to walk down the aisle with the guy of her dreams. But when you’re pushing marriage too soon you’re going to ruin what you have. Marriage is a huge step and it should not be taken lightly.
Properly planning for a future with a guy is not something that can happen overnight. If you’ve been with your guy for over a year and he’s not event talking about marriage you might have a problem on your hands. But if you’ve been together for a couple of months and you’re trying to get a ring, you need to slow it down.
Remember that a marriage is a marriage, not just the wedding.

3. Wanting Him To Do Everything.
Here’s a very big problem that a lot of women face.
Traditionally, men have been the breadwinner in relationships. However, the last 20-30 years have made women even more successful than men in the workplace. Some women talk about equality until it’s time for the check. If you’re going to be in a relationship, you need to meet him halfway. This doesn’t just extend to finances though. Compromise is the foundation for every relationship and without it you will have a very unhappy man.
Always getting your way or always letting him get his way is not going to accomplish anything. Make sure that your relationship is a 50/50 partnership or you will find your guy leaving you.

4. Not Saying What Bothers Them.
One of the things that makes men crazy is when a girl does not talk about what is bothering them.
Men like strong women that aren’t afraid to tell them what they want and what they don’t want. So many women clam up and get distant when they don’t like something about the relationship. If you don’t talk to your guy he could just give up all together and leave you.

The truth is that men love when there are no problems in a relationship. When you work through your problems he’s going to feel closer to you. Men are used to women getting distant when they don’t like something or when they are angry so when you open up to him, you will find that he is much more open and respectful.
Don’t let things fester. This will only make it worse for you and him.

5. Threatening You Want To Quit.
This is something that all men hate in a relationship.
If you are threatening to leave him, you better be ready to do it. When your guy does something that you can’t stand and you threaten to leave him, he sees this as a bluff. It’s not until you actually leave him that he’s going to respect you.
So many women threaten to leave their guys every day and never do. The guy sees this as an empty threat and the behavior just recycles over and over again. This can easily ruin the relationship.

Men that get away with things and never have ramifications are going to walk all over you. Make a decision and actually leave him if the behavior does not get corrected.